Emotions - To make Life... Alive.

Emotions explained to the thinkers

Emotions are the sprinkles that add color to life: the drama, beauty and all other facettes of experiences. Thoughts, emotions, behavior and physical sensations all are linked. All emotions are valid, as long as they are conscious and - in the long run - healthy.

Clinical psychologist and author, Dr. Julie Smith, emphasizes that:

"Emotions are real and valid, but they are not facts. They are a guess. A perspective that we try on for size. An emotion is the brain’s attempt to make sense of the world so that you can meet your needs and survive. Given that what you feel is not a factual statement, neither are thoughts. That is partly why therapies like CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) can be so helpful to many people. It gives us practice at being able to step back from thoughts and feelings and see them for what they are – just one possible perspective.”

👉 Her book is called "Why has nobody told me this before?*". You get quick and practical advice on mental health, emotions and more. Try it!

The one emotion I watch out for the most...

...is self-directed love.

My ability to love myself is a strong indicator of authenticity, as to how aligned my actions are with my true essence. Self Love to me is the single most helpful companion on the journey of life.

Why a relationship with yourself matters: look at with whom we (quite independent of our background) spend time with over the different decades in a life:

To me, that means to recognise those small moments in my daily life:
When I smile because of a nice thought I have.
When I take a moment to stand still in pride when I accomplished something.
When I feel down and tell myself that it will be ok.

Grows on you: Your Self.

Most of my me-times are consciously chosen activities by myself for myself. The more you do it, the more fun it is. I especially like to think back of longer periods of time spent by myself such as 1 week vacation in an awesome apartment in Greece. However, it's the small moments during each day I take to work out, meditate, journal or simply day-dream that ground me and provide. Give it a try!

How about you simply solve for happy!?

To many, happiness is the goal. And you're in great company, Mo Gawdat, author of "Solve for happy*" thinks so, too.
Since Mo has an alytical mind, he also gives us the happiness equation:
Hapiness is equal to or greater than the events in your life minus your expectations and hopes how life should be.
In other words - want to be happy? Keep your expectations low and let life surprise you. Simple thought, powerful practice.

Two easy choices to be more happy:

1. Gratitude. It reminds you that the events not only are meeting but beating expectations.
2. Human Connection. It's the ultimate human need, the ultimate human expecation we have from life.

Once you achieve those two, the events will meet what you are looking for in life.

Excurse: A Roadtrip of Life.

One of my teachers managed to help me visualize the facettes of life: imagine being on the road trip of life, driving in a van filled with different characters that represent aspects of your personality. Give them names if it helps you connect with them. For instance, there might be your inner, harmony-seeking Herbert, anxious Andrew, rebellious Mr. Rebel, or a control freak, whom you might affectionately call your "Inner German." I ivite you to take a moment to identify the main characters in your life's van.

Now, you're driving down that road, and eventually something happens. It triggers a particular character and they want to take over the steering wheel. What happens? Your their driving style will have an effect on you, and you show it through your thinking, emotions, and actions.

Say, my Mr. Rebel is triggered, and takes over the wheel. I might feel energetic, daring and a little reckless. My actions will reflect those emotions. But - what about all the others sitting in the van? Depending on the severity of the trigger, they might be sitting in the back, ignored. Or everyone is screaming and wanting attention, trying to get to take over the wheel. Some might not have been allowed at all to sit in the front for a very long time.

While it is a great idea to open your heart and listen to what Mr. Rebel has to say to you (to me, this could be about my need for compensation for my inner German), the time for rebellion should be limited. Your inner adult has the power to kindly but decisively take back control of the steering wheel. This inner adult would be the aware "You" (see Spirituality for more context).

👉 If you want to dive deeper on the parts inside of yourself, I can recommend this podcast, and the book "No bad Parts" by R. Schwartz*.

So what's the principle here? Derived from NLP and IFS, it's about exploring and nurturing your "voices" inside of you.

Practice: Label emotions, write about them.

👉 If you want to get better at feeling, and enrich your LinkedIn profile with the skill of "emotional intelligence" 🙃... a great first step is to learn how to label your emotions. There's more to life than being happy, sad, angry or anxious. Start with the how you describe how you feel. Source: Wikipedia

Most of us can name 15, 20 different emotions, but could you name 100? Labeling our emotions is a key step towards understanding them. Next, write about the what and why - what did you do when they came up? Whom where you with? What did you think? Why should you listen to them?

Scientific View on Emotions.

There is still a lot of research to be done. But: we know about the 3 core "neurotransmitters", our brain's chemical messengers that carry information within the brain, that are significantly affecting our emotions:

Dopamine (Pleasure, Reward):

"The paradox is that hedonism, the persuit of pleasure for its own sake, leads to anhedonia. Which is the inability to enjoy pleasure of any kind."
Anna Lembke

👉 Her book, "Dopamine Nation"* was eye-opening for me.

Dopamine is reinforcing all substances and behaviors. It is key for motivation.

The more dopamine a substance or behaviour relaseses, the higher the additive potency. It is however very personal (”my kind of drug of choice”…).

We have "dopaminified" most areas of life, like:

• Social connection (Facebook, Insta, TikTok,...)
• Nutrition: Foods rich in fat and sugar can increase dopamine up to 200% above normal levels

Dopamine interacts with various systems in the body, including the brain's cognitive and motor control pathways. It can influence motivation, focus, movement, and cognition.

Podcast on the topic from the author of "Dopamine Nation"*, Anna Lembke:

Disclaimer: while it starts with daily, minor addictions, the podcast does talk a lot about severe addiction. While I thankfully have not experienced those, I still learned a lot.

My take? I can use Pain as a Pathway to Pleasure: take advantage of the pleasure pain balance by pressing into pain. Pain is the price to pay for pleasure, BUT pleasure is also the REWARD for pain (e.g. runner's high). Pursuing healthy methods and levels of pain, like exercise, is better than pills.

Serotonin (mood regulator)

Serotonin is primarily involved in mood regulation, emotional well-being, and the management of anxiety.
Serotonin is like the "self-care bank": to keep serotonin at good levels, we can

• regularily exercise
• eat a balanced diet including foods rich in tryptophan, like eggs, chicken, nuts and oatmeal
• expose self to natural light
• practice mindfulness & gratitude
• keep a healthy sleep rythm & duration

According to some research, Serotonin interacts with various systems in the body, including the brain and the gut. It has been linked to regulating digestion, immune function, and cognitive processes.

Cortisol (stress, action)

Cortisol, the "stress hormone," is actually quite a vital hormone that helps the body respond to stress and maintain homeostasis. It regulates energy metabolism, inflammation, blood pressure, and immune function.

It's chronic or excessive cortisol release that can have negative effects on our emotional well-being and overall health.

Cortisol levels fluctuate throughout the day, following a natural circadian rhythm. They tend to be highest in the morning (to get you out of bed and tackle the day) and gradually decrease as the day progresses.

Unresolved past issues make your mind and body react as if the day-to-day environment that you inhabit is permanently dangerous. Under such conditions, your body reacts to stress with more preparation for action: for fight or flight, which you may feel, respectively, as anger or fear and emotional pain. If this preparation becomes chronic, your mental and physical health can be damaged.

If you recall memories that make you feel ashamed, or guilty, or angry, or hurt, and these memories are more than a year and a half old, then your mind is not at peace, and you are still carrying the weight of your past (at least according to Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring course).

Cortisol interacts with other systems in the body, such as the immune and cardiovascular systems. It can influence mood, memory, and cognition.

While the topic of emotions surely is a lot to process, a few values and habits make for a great guiderail in life. In other words, life feels great with a Character that serves you well. Go and find out 😉

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